I'm back!

It's ridiculous how crazy I get when I can't connect to the Internet. You people are my life! :) I haven't told you all the story of my last night with AP. I was in horrible shape. After we got her to sleep I went and took a long bath. I sobbed the entire time just knowing that everyone on our hall could probably hear me. I prayed constantly, but I really didn't even know WHAT to say. I felt like I was just making noises that only God could understand. I got out of the tub, wrapped myself up in a towel, and sat in the middle of the floor. I cannot explain the pain that I felt at that time. It's like nothing I have ever experienced in my life. I wanted Andrew, and I wanted to take AP home with me! I was so upset over so many things, and then I just gave them away to God. At that moment I felt all the worry and angst lift from my shoulders. That doesn't mean that I wasn't sad anymore, but I knew that I wasn't alone. God was holding me at that moment as His child. I could feel that He loves me even more than I love Anne Pearce, and He hurts when I hurt. Since that moment life has been much better. I can't say that I don't miss Anne Pearce or that I'm not sad. I do miss her, and I am sad, but that's the way her mama is SUPPOSED to feel. Andrew and I both have such peace that she will be home soon. I not only ask God for a miracle.....I believe that He will give it. She will be home soon. Praise God!