Some babies will cry for 3 hours straight and not even be CLOSE to falling asleep. My daughter is one of those babies. This weekend we gave it a good ol' try.....Friday night she cried for almost 2 hours straight before we got her out of her bed. Last night she woke up the first time at 11 and cried for 20 minutes. We were thrilled. HOWEVER, that didn't last long. She was up again a little before 1:00 crying again. She cried steadily until 3:45. Now people can say whatever, but obviously she isn't ready. Anne Pearce would seriously cry all night and never go to sleep. She needs us right now. There's no way that we can keep putting her (or ourselves) through this every night. She actually had dark circles under her eyes yesterday. When I finally got her out of her crib she was clinging to me like a life raft. I felt HORRIBLE for putting her through that. We will NOT be letting her cry it out again. If she needs to come get in bed with us, then that's what we'll do. We just wish we could afford to go buy a king size! ;) Eventually we will find out what works for us all.....I will tell you this. Even with almost no sleep she is the best natured baby I have ever seen. How she stays so happy and content I have no idea, but that little face lights up everytime she sees us. She never fusses or complains. She's an angel..... an angel that needs her mommy and daddy during the night......
Sunday, August 19, 2007
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21 comments:
Lou, I really don't think that we can trust our past experiences with our bio. kids to lead us with these babies that have been through so much. Trust in your intincts (& your undergrad Child Growth & Dev training). If she is truly afraid, as you've described, then she hasn't resolved her issues of trust/mistrust. It may take a long time for her to sleep on her own. Work on a routine, but do what it takes for her to feel safe. She'll let you know when she's ready to be on her own, even if she doesn't want it, there is a big different between want and fear. Have you considered putting her crib next to your bed so that she can see and actually touch you when she wakes, but is not actually in the bed? At least you wouldn't worry about rolling over on her (that was always my fear, so I couldn't sleep). I will pray that God gives you a clear solution to this sleeping issue for you, Andrew, and AP.
love ya, Dea
Lou - we're having just as much trouble here! Well - except we've never even tried to put them in cribs yet (they didn't use them in the FF either).
Right now, our guys are on a twin mattress next to us and they wake up about every 30 minutes reaching for one of us. So, all night it's up/down/up/down between our bed and theirs. NO sleep for any of us.
But they're fine happy little campers during the day.
I, too just keep thinking, it hasn't been enough time yet. They're still grieving. Bless their little hearts.
E-mail me directly if you want/need to chat.
You're doing such a good job being a mommy!
And being a very good blogger, too! I just can't seem to update mine, I hope they don't take my blog license away!!
;-)
Lou--I'm so sorry that AP is having a difficult time sleeping. I would just suggest finding one that works, no matter what it is, and stick with it for a while. ;) Seems like she was sleeping better when her crib was in your room, maybe go back to that for a few weeks until she feels more comfortable. My thoughts are with you all! Much love!
PERFECTLY well said. Just trust your instincts. She IS an angel, and I don't understand how she's so happy and content w/o much sleep, but she certainly is. Hang in there, and you know we're are right across the street if you need us. We love that girl and you too!!!
Hope she gets a good nap this afternoon! =)
Daisy
That's exactly what you need to be doing - listening to AP and going with what she needs. Trust your instincts. We've been lucky with Alex that if he does "cry it out" he rarely cries more than 5 minutes. I don't know how you held out as long as you did - I don't know if I could have taken it.
I'll continue to pray that you all find out what works for AP and that you all get some much deserved sleep soon.
Oh LouLou, I know this is tough. You sound like you're heading down the right path. Maybe putting her crib next to your bed so she can see you is a good thing. Whatever you do, it's your choice. You're a GREAT Mommy, and you are going to make it through this!
Much love to you!!
P.S.-I am wearing "our" shorts today :) I think of you every time I wear them. My dear, sweet LouLou!
Oh Lou Lou, you are sooo right. Some kids don't cry it out. When we were visiting V, she cried nonstop for 2 hours. And she would probably STILL be crying right now had mom not thought of music. Do WHATEVER you feel is right and WHATEVER you need to, to get some rest. You are HER mom and whatever you do will be the right thing. Love you!
I think AP in your arms is what she needs right now. Soon enough she will be a big girl and doing everything for herself. I hope you get some sleep tonight.
Lou,
You are doing what is right for you and your baby. It must have been terrible for you to listen to her crying. I am certainly behind your decision.
Gail
It sounds like AP needs the security of her parents right now. I think allowing her to sleep with you until she feels safe and secure in her own bed is the right thing to do.
You do what works best for you and AP. All I thought was, WOW, when I read your post. Thankfully, Olivia never cried for more than an hour. Now, if she does cry, it's usually less than a minute. That must have been torture for all of you. Seems like keeping her in your room is the most effective at this time. Just be consistent with that for a while. Once she is verbal you may be able to move her out of your room with some explaining; or, you may just have to wait until she's made the choice to move out of your room on her own. Start saving for that king size bed :) Thinking of you!
Bless your heart - I know this must be so very hard for you. I agree with everyone - you just have to listen to AP and trust your instincts. You can tell the difference between AP trying to get her way or truly expressing fear and need. Every baby and every situation is different - you just have to find what works for you and Anne Pearce. Just curious - did she co-sleep with her foster mother?
Good luck and hang in there. You WILL find a solution that works. And someday you WILL get sleep again!!
do whatever it takes Lou...if she is in your room for awhile so be it. that's what she needs. she will eventually be ready for her own room. you are doing the right thing. listen to AP and your motherly instincts.
so sorry sleeping has been so hard. Victoria never cried that long, I can't imagine how you could have stood it! Just listen to your heart and AP. She has had so many changes and is growing up so fast. Do what you feel is right. Nightime can be a lonely scary time. good luck. hugs
ONLY you and Andrew know what's right for AP---ALL BABIES do not need to cry it out!
Hang in there, and feel good about whatever you feel led to do with her and her sleep habits right now!
Love ya!
So, you tried. Now you know THAT'S not the answer! I think AP needs a good bit of snuggle time between Mommy and Daddy. Every child is different so trust in your instincts. Try not to second guess yourself. You'll laugh about this one day...maybe. ;-)
You are such a good mother
Lynne
I am so sorry to hear AP is having trouble sleeping. Poor little angel! She WILL figure the sleeping arrangements out. She will be able to have sweet dreams. Praying that you all can catch up on your sleep and that AP realizes you are there for her, always. Love you!
You know we did the same thing at first. It is just an adjustment and she will be just fine. You are a great mommy and who wouldn't want to hang out with you all day and night!
OH SWEETY! I am so sorry. The cry it out thing didn't work with KK either. When she was older the whole super nanny sit by the crib thing worked cause she could see me. A king size bed is a great idea. Maybe you should try www.craigslist.com It's awesome. That's where we got KKs new bed. Hugs! Angel
We are a co cleeping family. And yes, we did buy a king size bed and we have a toddler bed near our bed. When I was youmger I did try to have one of my children cry it out. AFter all, everyone raved about it. it was the most horrendous thing I ever did. My son ended up throwing up and banged his head so hard he had a bruise (and that was only in 15 minutes!) Never ever ever again.
Ever since then I slept with all of them. I gaurantee you, as a mom to older children (alot of them LOL) they WILL leave your bed eventually. Follow your heart and your gut. You are so on the right track with AP!! Can't wait to meet you guys in Oct!
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