I think God is trying to tell me something.....

Many things happened to me yesterday and last night. Natalie and I have been praying about all of this NON- STOP, and we both felt like I was supposed to share this with you all.

Last night I returned to my Wednesday night church group. Anne Pearce did great at supper, and I felt like I was back home in my Christ Care group. My heart felt so filled, and my spirit was nourished. Hayden also loved being back in his group. He really came home so happy. Out of the blue he said, "Mama, I think we need to start on our baby sister. AP needs a sister, and I don't want them to be too far apart in age." I kind of blew him off with .......we're not ready for that now....it's just not time. When I was talking to Nat later I received an email that may change our lives. There is a possible baby or child that God may be wanting to send to our family. My first thought was overwhelming. I have been crying and praying non-stop. I can't explain the emotions I am dealing with. I feel just like I felt when God was telling me to start AP's adoption. The sad part of this story is that we don't have the money to do it. PERIOD. It makes me so sad that those of us who want to open our homes and families to a motherless and fatherless child can't do it because of MONEY! MONEY! MONEY! I think sometimes we forget that these children we're adopting are ORPHANS. They have NO ONE. Yes, they are being taken care of by foster moms or hogars, BUT THESE ARE NOT FAMILIES. These people care for the children, but this is their job. It's not a family. I look at AP, Bella, and all our babies who were ORPHANS until God sent them to a family. Can you imagine where they would be if we didn't adopt them????? HOMELESS, PARENTLESS, ABUSED, HUNGRY, LONELY........DESPERATE. It makes me cry just to type those words. Now, I am faced with this possiblity.... Can I turn away from a CHILD??? A CHILD????? A CHILD WHO NEEDS US??? I can't. I have NO idea where we will get the money. I have no idea how this will work. I do know that God has been speaking to me non-stop since I received that email. Will you please pray for us? Will you please pray that God will show us a way to find money to do this? PLEASE know that I am NOT asking anyone for money. I do trust that God will show a way to have His will done. It just seems overwhelming now...... I am just sobbing. I KNOW this is something we are supposed to do. Please Lord, show us the way. Show us how this overwhelming mountain of money can be attainable.....

Last night I had a dream. Andrew and I had this TINY baby. I mean tiny. People kept trying to take her from us. So many people kept trying to take her from me. People I know and love. Is this symbolic of people thinking we are crazy and trying to discourage us from going forward with this???? All I know is in the dream Andrew and I kept saying, "you can't have her....she's our child. She's our child. She's our child." Is this little person in Guatemala our child? I pray that God will tell us soon........

love to you all.....