I need your help to find some homes for some babies!

Is there anyone paper ready who is waiting for a baby girl referral? My WONDERFUL attorney has healthy available baby girls that need families QUICKLY. He would be willing to work with families directly (no agency, and that's how I'm doing it next) OR he would be willing to work with your agency. If you don't use an agency it will cut down on the cost TREMENDOUSLY! He is on the embassy preferred list, and I can't say enough good things about him. He is my family. If anyone is interested or knows anyone who may be please email me at lou0728@yahoo.com. I feel that God is leading me to find families for these precious girls. I will have photos tomorrow with information. As far as Andrew and I go.....we think we are going to start the paperwork! There are several situations that our attorney has let us know about that we want to pray about. Anyway, believe it or not, I will be paperchasing again! Praise the Lord!

I think God is trying to tell me something.....

Many things happened to me yesterday and last night. Natalie and I have been praying about all of this NON- STOP, and we both felt like I was supposed to share this with you all.

Last night I returned to my Wednesday night church group. Anne Pearce did great at supper, and I felt like I was back home in my Christ Care group. My heart felt so filled, and my spirit was nourished. Hayden also loved being back in his group. He really came home so happy. Out of the blue he said, "Mama, I think we need to start on our baby sister. AP needs a sister, and I don't want them to be too far apart in age." I kind of blew him off with .......we're not ready for that now....it's just not time. When I was talking to Nat later I received an email that may change our lives. There is a possible baby or child that God may be wanting to send to our family. My first thought was overwhelming. I have been crying and praying non-stop. I can't explain the emotions I am dealing with. I feel just like I felt when God was telling me to start AP's adoption. The sad part of this story is that we don't have the money to do it. PERIOD. It makes me so sad that those of us who want to open our homes and families to a motherless and fatherless child can't do it because of MONEY! MONEY! MONEY! I think sometimes we forget that these children we're adopting are ORPHANS. They have NO ONE. Yes, they are being taken care of by foster moms or hogars, BUT THESE ARE NOT FAMILIES. These people care for the children, but this is their job. It's not a family. I look at AP, Bella, and all our babies who were ORPHANS until God sent them to a family. Can you imagine where they would be if we didn't adopt them????? HOMELESS, PARENTLESS, ABUSED, HUNGRY, LONELY........DESPERATE. It makes me cry just to type those words. Now, I am faced with this possiblity.... Can I turn away from a CHILD??? A CHILD????? A CHILD WHO NEEDS US??? I can't. I have NO idea where we will get the money. I have no idea how this will work. I do know that God has been speaking to me non-stop since I received that email. Will you please pray for us? Will you please pray that God will show us a way to find money to do this? PLEASE know that I am NOT asking anyone for money. I do trust that God will show a way to have His will done. It just seems overwhelming now...... I am just sobbing. I KNOW this is something we are supposed to do. Please Lord, show us the way. Show us how this overwhelming mountain of money can be attainable.....

Last night I had a dream. Andrew and I had this TINY baby. I mean tiny. People kept trying to take her from us. So many people kept trying to take her from me. People I know and love. Is this symbolic of people thinking we are crazy and trying to discourage us from going forward with this???? All I know is in the dream Andrew and I kept saying, "you can't have her....she's our child. She's our child. She's our child." Is this little person in Guatemala our child? I pray that God will tell us soon........

love to you all.....

I need a break......

I want to say how much I appreciate all your support over the past few weeks. It has meant so much to me. For now though, I think I need to take a break.......Andrew, Logan, Hayden, and Anne Pearce need all my attention focused on them right now, and whatever time I happen to have left over needs to be spent on me. I don't know how long I will be gone, but I will be back. Please feel free to email me privately at lou0728@yahoo.com if you have any questions. Also, all my buddies that have my number keep on calling. I just want to put this computer down and focus on the living things around me. Please keep us in your prayers. I know that Anne Pearce will get this sleep thing figured out soon, but until then it's taking all the energy I have (and it's not much) to deal with it. You are all in my thoughts and prayers everyday. This isn't good-bye just a temporary "so long".

love to you all,
lou

Thank you all for all the support.....Edited

She cried all night.....all night long she cried.....she cried for hours with cat naps inbetween. BUT, she cried in HER room in HER crib. She woke up happy as a lark at 6:00......she had just gone to sleep at 5:00. Surely, exhaustion will catch up with her sometime!

You guys really help me more than you know. I am sitting here listening to my baby sob and sob, BUT I KNOW this really is for her own good. No hate mail please.....This has nothing to do with an adopted baby fearing her mommy will leave her. This is about setting the tone for sleep behaviors for the rest of her life. Andrew went and bought us a video monitor, so we can watch her to make sure she's not hurt or sick. All I've seen so far is a baby mad, because she isn't getting her way.... I want to thank all of you who have called and emailed offering support. Nat, as always, you are my rock. Daisy, you are just a part of our family. PERIOD. Julia, you talked me off a cliff today, and I love you. Rose, you let me know that what I'm doing is OK, and I love you for it. If I've left anyone out I apoligize.....I am working with a sleep deprived brain here. OH MY GOODNESS! DO YOU KNOW WHAT I HEAR????ABSOLUTLEY NOTHING!!!! SHE'S ASLEEP!!!!! For now we can rejoice!

I spoke too soon.....

The story of my life it seems.......AP was up ALL NIGHT LONG last night. Yes, I said all night...Well, if you count from before midnight until around 4:40 am...... She wasn't crying....just talking and cooing and laughing and wanting to play....I was so tired I was literally nauseated and gagging. I had to give her to Andrew, so I could go throw up. Sorry if that's too graphic......My health is going a little more downhill everyday with no sleep. I have been having horrible chest pains and just feel horrible. I know this is just a pity me post and that there are so many people who just wish their babies were home, so I feel guilty saying anything. But, this is my blog, and this is what's going on in my life. Andrew worked from home today, because he knew I was about to go over the edge.....I got to sleep until lunch time. I will continue to pray everynight that this girl will figure out HOW to sleep.....

Hallelujah, Hallelujah, Hallelujah!!!! Sleep and CRAWLING! AND, peeing on the potty!

I'll start you off with the good stuff!

This one's for you daddy. You're the one!

Photo Sharing - Video Sharing - Share Photos - Free Video Hosting

Photo Sharing - Video Sharing - Share Photos - Free Video Hosting


Our night had a rocky start last night. Anne Pearce fell asleep at 9:00 and was back up crying before 10:00! I told Andrew to save us some grief and to put the crib back up in our room. We were so tired we were laughing deriously! Do you ever get that way????? We thought it was hilarious that we were re-arranging at 10 pm! After the crib was back together right beside my bed, I put AP in it and told her night night. She fell asleep and didn't wake up until 9:30 this morning!!!! She did wake up fussing a couple of times during the night, but I just gave her a little pat....WE ALL SLEPT! I feel like a new woman!!!!!!! She also took a nap that lasted one hour and 15 minutes! I know not to get too excited.....I just take it one day at a time.

Now, this morning I was experimenting with Anne Pearce's hair....What do you guys think about the double pony tales??? She kept pulling the bows out, so I took them down. This happened to be a day where she went through 3 outfits quick! After her last wardrobe change I sat down in the chair. I saw her moving out of the corner of my eye and looked up to find her crawling!!! YES, CRAWLING!!!!! She's never really even attempted a regular crawl and all of sudden she was hustling around the rug!!!! I was thrilled. Andrew had just left the house, so I called him to come back. He rushed back to see our little princessa. We are thrilled parents.........

Outfit #1Outfit #2

Pay attention to this piece of paper....It'll be important later.
Here she goes.......Closer......Closer.......

Whooooo Hoooooo, I'm there!

AND, WHAT prompted my daughter to crawl??? Yes, Stacy, it's a bow holder from Littleclippies.com!!!! See the top where she gnawed on it?

Daisy and I say this has been a great day on the Loop.........AP slept and crawled, Maggie went in the potty all day with no accidents, and she got diamonds for her anniversary today. It just doesn't get any better than that!

Maggie giving thumbs up for going on our potty!

Maggie in her pirate hat she made at the library today....How cute is this kiddo? I love her to pieces!

Aye, Aye, Matey!

How can somebody be SO precious????

This girl of mine is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen, and she just oozes with sweetness. My darling, Andrew, took some pictures of her for me after her bath last night. We got a LITTLE more sleep..... at least she wasn't crying for hours......Hey, it can only get better! Right?

News Flash: Not all babies will cry it out....

Some babies will cry for 3 hours straight and not even be CLOSE to falling asleep. My daughter is one of those babies. This weekend we gave it a good ol' try.....Friday night she cried for almost 2 hours straight before we got her out of her bed. Last night she woke up the first time at 11 and cried for 20 minutes. We were thrilled. HOWEVER, that didn't last long. She was up again a little before 1:00 crying again. She cried steadily until 3:45. Now people can say whatever, but obviously she isn't ready. Anne Pearce would seriously cry all night and never go to sleep. She needs us right now. There's no way that we can keep putting her (or ourselves) through this every night. She actually had dark circles under her eyes yesterday. When I finally got her out of her crib she was clinging to me like a life raft. I felt HORRIBLE for putting her through that. We will NOT be letting her cry it out again. If she needs to come get in bed with us, then that's what we'll do. We just wish we could afford to go buy a king size! ;) Eventually we will find out what works for us all.....I will tell you this. Even with almost no sleep she is the best natured baby I have ever seen. How she stays so happy and content I have no idea, but that little face lights up everytime she sees us. She never fusses or complains. She's an angel..... an angel that needs her mommy and daddy during the night......

Nobody EVER said being a mother is easy......

In fact, it's the hardest job on earth. Even my dear Oprah agrees with me on that topic! Motherhood has filled me with more joy and satisfaction than I could have ever imagined. When I had Logan and Hayden I had no idea what I was doing. They were the first boys in our entire family, and none of us knew what to do with them. I learned as we went along, and I think they've turned out pretty darned well. When they would have any issues I felt that I KNEW what they needed for me to do to help them. Anne Pearce is a different story. I second guess EVERYTHING that I do for her and every decision we make. Is it the right thing? Has it been long enough? Is it too soon? Does she need this? Does she need that? You get the picture. I am just so scared of doing anything to screw her up emotionally. Natalie and I have been going through this together. If I didn't have her I don't know what I would do. If I didn't know better I would think that Bella and AP were twins. They are twinkies. Peas in a pod. They are having the exact same issues. Last night Nat and I decided that we were reclaiming our beds and sleep. She did much better than I did. I caved. Immediately. Well, AP slept from 8:30 until 4, so I thought that was different than waking up at 12 or so. She cried hysterically for 15 minutes before I picked her up, and then she cried for 40. Pardon my French, but she was PISSED!!!! She cried. I cried. I'm sure Andrew was just wishing that both of us would just get over it! ;) I just want her to know that I am there and know that I'm not leaving her. I want to be a good mama for her. Natalie told me though that being a good mother also involves teaching them things that they need to do, like falling asleep and staying asleep. They NEED sleep. Everyone in our house needs SLEEP! So, I will try again tonight. Like another Southern Belle, Scarlett O'Hara herself once said, "After all, tomorrow is another day." We'll figure it out together.

Time to reclaim my body

When Andrew and I met I was running at least 20 miles per week and going to the gym consistently. I was in the best shape of my life.....then came the snowball effect that was my health. I have told the story before of how sick I was, and how I got the pacemaker. Over the next 3 years I gained 20 pounds. I know I'm not fat, but I feel like I'm trapped in someone else's body. I also have a condition called dysautonomia that is thankfully under control with medication. Last year was very difficult for me with my health. I actually had to quit work in December to try to get well. It has taken since then, but the Lord is healing me. He is doing it slowly but surely, and I am thankful for every step He allows me to take. Being home from work and reducing that stress has been WONDERFUL for my condition. I feel almost normal. Two weeks ago I decided that I was changing my lifestyle. I'm not calling it a diet, because I am making healthy lifestyle changes. I have started exercising and am not eating any processed sugar or flour. I am eating fruit everyday, because I feel that God gave us fruit, and it's healthy. Yesterday marks one week since I implemented the changes in my diet, and I've been exercising for almost 3 weeks. I let myself weigh this morning, and I was terrified what it would say. I've been trying not to focus too much on the numbers and being healthy instead. I was THRILLED to see that I've lost 6 pounds! SIX POUNDS!!!!! That is great motivation to keep going, and it means that I am making changes to be healthy. It's hard to make myself go walk in this intense heat, but I am doing it. I take my cell phone most nights and talk to Nat.....so, she walks with me!!!!! It also feels nice to claim some small part of the day for myself. God gave us our bodies, and I feel that it's my responsibility to do what I can to keep it healthy. I feel so much better about myself knowing that I'm doing SOMETHING. Posting this will hold me accountable to all of you........if anyone wants to do this with me, hop on! We can help each other!

Now the question I know you are dying to ask.....What about the sweet tea???? I haven't had ANY sugar! I am drinking decaffeinated tea with Splenda and am lovin' it! I also haven't had ANY carbonation for 3 weeks. I can tell a huge difference already! I told Nat that when she comes I will let myself have some Mississippi Mud, but for now NO SUGAR! To tell the truth I'm really not missing it....The first day or so was harder but I was motivated! Just wanted to share what was going on with me...........I'll keep you posted here and there about my progress. For now, AP is napping, and I'm going to eat a salad!

Amanda and Bella need a Miracle, and they need us to ask for it! Note from Amanda added.

WOW! Words cannot express what your prayers and encouragement within the past 24 hours means to my family. We are humbled and amazed. I have not had the privilege to "know" many of you and yet I feel so loved. Our family is having a rough time during this part of the process. I am not at liberty to go into detail, but I will at a later time. Our situation is complicated and until yesterday, we were feeling it to be impossible. Thanks to your reminders of how BIG our God is, we no longer feel that way. I have experienced a peace like no other today and I actually slept the whole night through last night! I feel renewed and ready to begin fighting again.

We still have no news, but are confident that He is in control of our situation and is working everything out, down to the smallest detail, to bring her home to us SOON! We serve a big God that does BIG things. I had become so weary from the fight that I was starting to doubt that. You all rallied and reminded me. I am looking forward in great anticipation, that real soon, I will get word that it is done and we will have an end in sight. Please continue to pray-- our situation warrants it. I am not trying to be cryptic. I just cannot go into detail. Blogland is a God-send and my family will be forever grateful!


Amanda

I talked to Amanda at length this afternoon. We can't go into details, but Amanda is literally at the end of her rope. For those of you who don't know Amanda, let me tell you, this lady is full of the Lord's love. God knew that she had it in her to fight the fight for Bella. She has fought non-stop, but she has grown weary. Amanda needs all of us to fight for her now. I am challenging EVERYONE WHO READS THIS POST to take a moment and pray SPECIFICALLY for Bella's case. Leave a comment to let her know that you are praying and being prayer warriors for her (she will be checking this).Let's pray that God places His very own hand on Bella and that He allows nothing or no one to prolong this case any longer. I prayed this prayer on the phone with Amanda, and I got chill bumps all over my body. I KNOW GOD HEARD! I also know that some of you are the greatest prayer warriors I have ever had the pleasure of knowing. Together we can pray this girl home! My pastor sent this to our congregation today. He's started doing these wonderful daily devotionals that mean so much to me. As soon as I read this one I thought of Amanda and all the waiting parents out there. I pray that this ministers to you all the way it ministered to Amanda and me

Because He loved me
Psalms 91:14

We always want God to rescue us from our problems and difficulties. Sometimes He does. Sometimes God, for His own reasons, does not save us from difficulty. Sometimes he rescues us when we least expect it.
Psalm 91:14-16
“Because he loves me,” says the Lord, “I will rescue him;
I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name.
He will call upon me, and I will answer him;
I will be with him in trouble,
I will deliver him and honor him.
With long life will I satisfy him
And show him my salvation.”

I believe those lines in Psalms. I love God with all my heart. However, sometimes I wonder where is the rescue?

Eleven years ago I was running up the hill on Spanish Main and felt heaviness in my chest. I spent several days in the hospital having tests. I learned that I had a heart defect and had to have surgery to correct it. Before the surgery ever took place, I believed God said to me that He would heal me completely.

I woke up from my surgery to discover, in point of fact, they had operated twice. The first one had failed and was succeeded by a more serious surgery with additional complications including a stroke. I wondered when God would heal me.

Several years passed and I was taking nine medications, including daily nitroglycerin. The church was in the worst crisis of its history. Again I asked God when I would be healed.

Healing came for me in a surprising way and at a surprising time. One of the former ministers and I had gone to visit Leon Allen at his service station. Leon asked me, unexpectedly, as I walked across the pavement toward my car, “Do you believe God is going to heal you?” The moment lives forever in my heart. I looked in Leon ’s eyes and said, “Yes, Leon , I believe God is going to heal me.” My healing didn’t come in a moment. In the next six weeks I felt my heart recover to its previous strength. My wife and I went back to the doctor for a checkup. We both were overcome with joy when Dr. Massey said, “I cannot understand what happened to you, but your heart is completely healed.”

God chose to heal me in His time. I was at the lowest point in my professional life. I believe God healed me then because that was the time when I really needed a miracle.

Prayer:
Dear God, heal me and help me to understand your rescue will come in your time. Amen.

I have a hang over, and I don't drink!

AP had another wild night! UP and DOWN and UP and DOWN!!!! I swear at 6:00am I felt like I had a BAD hang over. Back in the day I did my share of partying down! I forgot how bad hang overs felt until this morning. Since God healed my body I feel an obligation not to drink. I never was a big drinker anyway, so it was no big loss for me.....Anyway, my mock hangover this morning just reaffirmed my decision! I just adore this baby even when she's whining most of the night. I do have some cute pics from the pool yesterday afternoon. What does 100% humidity look like???? It was so humid our camera lens fogged up! The pool felt like a very warm bath.... I hated it, but AP loved it....Felt like just one big bath tub all for her. She laughed and laughed. I guess it just got her wired and she didn't feel the need to sleep! Well, tonight is another night!

Something you need to go read:

My sister just sent me this. VERY DISTURBING! I'm not meaning to freak everyone out, but I thought that it was important enough to post.

Two months ago today, Hayden's new "toy", and lost luggage!

Two months ago today God gave me the greatest blessing in the form of this precious girl~ Two months have flown by, and I have truly cherished every day with my princessa! I am continually amazed that God chose us to be her forever family. Anne Pearce is growing and doing new things all the time.....I am so glad that I am able to watch her experience so many firsts. I was so scared that I was missing everything, but now I see how much I am getting to experience WITH her. Here are some cutie patootie pics from earlier:

I love this bear: I will sit on him.....
Lay on him.......
Bite him.....
play with him......
And smother him with my lovin'

Hayden traded his drum set today for this "sweet" guitar. He is so excited!!!! We are calling to start his lessons next week. It takes up LOTS less room than those drums!

Finally, Andrew retrieved the lost luggage today!!!!! I told him not to tell me anything and to pretend like he didn't have a clue what was in there. Daisy, Wyatt, and Maggie came over for the excitement:

If this bag could talk I'll bet it could tell some tales!

The famous pink and brown bermudas! I think I kissed them, but I'm not sure. Yes, Ruthanne, I will wash them before I wear them!

The original pillowcase dress.....I am so happy to have this.....it brings back so many happy memories...

Anne Pearce wore this to the embassy....

This picture doesn't do it justice.....There was SO MUCH stuff in here!